Birthday roundup

“Never round up.” –Anne Lutz Fernandez

I’m used to being me.
I’m not surprised by the distortions of perception
that are my habits. I’m used to seeing through them
or not, I’m used to this body, its chronic
holding patterns and curmudgeonly joints,
the beggar-muscles always at the street corner
a hand out for attention.

I’m no longer enthralled or appalled by my face in the mirror
nor surprised to see my mother there
when she was my age.

Sometimes, though, rushing by, say,
a department store window frontlit by sun,
the glass gives me an update
on emotions I’m ignoring
or on the status of my liver.

More often, as I fill hands with water at the sink,
I see an older face
than that moment’s self-perception.
I must recalibrate. Ah yes, 2014. Do the math.